Well well. So I was looking through Facebook as well as other news site about the recent MH370 disappearance over the Vietnamese Airspace and I happened to came across this blog post by this female blogger and it was about...
And i read through it. Honestly speaking, sometimes we wonder about this question.
If it's you who instigated the date. Just pay. Because it's you, that's why she came to a date with you.
Imagine when the girl looks at you, expecting you to pay when the bills come. You don't want to look pathetic when you can't seems to pay for the bill, do you? But most of us can pay since it's the 21st Century as we have our debit and credit card ready for swiping.
Well, that brings us to our next point.
2. Impression of You.
Well, when we pay for the ladies, it does not only just show that we are gentlemen. It also shows that we have the responsibility, steady and well established. Some women are like this, they would think whether you are relationship-ready or not. And it also shows your sincerity in asking her out for a date. You won't want to ruin her impression of you by not paying anyway. After all, if you're aiming to go after her, your impression must be good. A girl won't want to have a boyfriend that is selfish, petty and doesn't take the initiative.
3. Special Occasions
If you asked her out because it's a special occasion like her birthday or her achievements, then yes, you should offer to pay. It will make you look classy and gracious. Just don't let her know about the price of the meal since i'm expecting you to bring her to a classy restaurant or hotel for a meal. Tell her it's on you.
4. She's testing you!
There are different ways of testing you. Always take note, lady can be very crafty. No offence but yes. For example, she can offer to pay for you. But take note, not all ladies are doing this for no reasons. Whether if she is doing it subconsciously or not, it really test how you are going to react. Sounds harsh.
Always remember, on the first date, she is trying to know about you. What kind and type of guys are you? Are you generous? Are you responsible?
And i read through it. Honestly speaking, sometimes we wonder about this question.
Should we or should we not pay for the other party?
And we really get stuck in a situation that is like between life and death. It apparently means choosing a choice that may result the lady having a good impression of you, which is only a 50% probability.
There are different views out there and I'm not saying that the blogger, Deborah is wrong either. We do have different ways of viewing things and it's great that Deborah actually feels that she shouldn't expect a guy to pay the bill on the first date.
After all, it hands down to 3 possible situations.
1. You pay the entire bill
2. She pay the entire bill
3. Split the bill and pay equally
But of course, it depends on the lady that you're having the date with. You will have to understand her personality, through her dressing, the way she talked and the first impression that she gave you.
Sometimes, we guys don't know how to judge a person. And then, we made the wrong judgement. And yes, the judging process here is somewhat relevant to the judgemental society here. It's either we judge a person favourably or unfavourably.
I managed to speak to a few of my friends regarding this issue as well. We guys would usually pay on the first date because society portray as this way. One scenario. Most of the time we will see guys proposing to a girl, but we rarely and maybe don't even see a lady proposing to a guy.
It's the same kind of situation, but it's a matter of who taking the initiative.
But most of the times, the way society portray us guys interfere with our thinking.
So what happens why you insist on paying when the lady actually said no?
It just practically make the lady feel insulted. Why? Because you're somehow making them feel like they can't afford it or even you buying their time just for a date.
But what happens if we don't pay for the lady?
Well, it just make you look so ungentlemanly and make the lady feel cheap.
So what is my stand? I would definitely offer to pay for the ladies first.
1. Instigation of the (First) Date
Who ask who in this case? Was it the guy who asked the ladies out first or the other way round? Don't be bothered about this. Just pay. It would be normal for a guy to pay for the ladies. After all, you will probably managed to schedule another date with that beloved lady and she can pay for it the next date. (that's most of the ladies will do, but not all.)If it's you who instigated the date. Just pay. Because it's you, that's why she came to a date with you.
Imagine when the girl looks at you, expecting you to pay when the bills come. You don't want to look pathetic when you can't seems to pay for the bill, do you? But most of us can pay since it's the 21st Century as we have our debit and credit card ready for swiping.
Well, that brings us to our next point.
2. Impression of You.
Well, when we pay for the ladies, it does not only just show that we are gentlemen. It also shows that we have the responsibility, steady and well established. Some women are like this, they would think whether you are relationship-ready or not. And it also shows your sincerity in asking her out for a date. You won't want to ruin her impression of you by not paying anyway. After all, if you're aiming to go after her, your impression must be good. A girl won't want to have a boyfriend that is selfish, petty and doesn't take the initiative.
3. Special Occasions
If you asked her out because it's a special occasion like her birthday or her achievements, then yes, you should offer to pay. It will make you look classy and gracious. Just don't let her know about the price of the meal since i'm expecting you to bring her to a classy restaurant or hotel for a meal. Tell her it's on you.
4. She's testing you!
There are different ways of testing you. Always take note, lady can be very crafty. No offence but yes. For example, she can offer to pay for you. But take note, not all ladies are doing this for no reasons. Whether if she is doing it subconsciously or not, it really test how you are going to react. Sounds harsh.
Always remember, on the first date, she is trying to know about you. What kind and type of guys are you? Are you generous? Are you responsible?
That are just some reasons that i will offer to pay for the lady that I'm having a date with.
But there are sometimes when ladies will offer to pay first even though you have offered to pay.
What should you do?
Yet, another life and death situation. Well, you will really have to choose the right choice, especially when personality differ from person to person.
If you insist to pay more, it just shows that you value her a lot. Society value money. But you value her, paying for the meal shows it. Yes, I mentioned above that you may be buying her but it also shows that you have value for her.
Most of the times, it will usually end up with the guy paying for it. However if you suay suay kena a lady who is very insisting. Convince her that she can pay for a movie later or next time.
That's how you would keep the future date scheduled!
Well, i believe that you somewhat knows what to do when dealing about who to pay for the first date.
Anyway, before a date, we guys should understand about the lady that we intend to have a date with. Try to find out what they like, their usual habits etc. This will really help you with a successful date!
