Deprived.

Many people are constantly deprived of sleep, money, energy and so on...

Personally, I feel that the things that i'm deprived of depends on the situation itself.

For instance, if one rushes projects in exchange for his/her sleep time, then that will be counted as deprivation of sleep and energy as well.

But I would rather be in that situation than be deprived of something in a long term period.

Perhaps, there isn't any cure for this. I'm constantly depriving of friends. Like i mention two posts before, I feels as if i'm a burden to my friends, to the fact that i even push them out of my life at certain point.

The logic "I have only myself to count on" seems to be true.  Sometimes, you feel better when you're alone. You get to enjoy every single moment of being with yourself, thinking of many stuffs that you want to make it happen or maybe you're even daydreaming.

But, suddenly, the thought of being alone startled you...

The fear of falling from a height that you scaled halfway towards what you're thinking.

And apparently, that height refers to the point where friends come in.

This point is the encouragement point. Whenever we drive ourselves towards a certain goal, wanting to make it happen, we often find ourselves stuck at that particular point. Because that's the maximum point that you can reach, alone. 

We couldn't reach our destination alone, without the support of our friends.

So why am i constantly deprive of friends?! Do i have a goal to achieve or something? 

There are times when I feel so aimless. 

Perhaps, i just need a person whom i recently encounter to confide in. 

I tend to think and worry about small little things that often relates to how i feel exactly. 

But then i thought, what is the possibility of getting people to stay when they already know you story? Majority will stay, because they wish to hear your problems.

But those who leave? Mainly because they got tired of you.

Update 1:

How many times have i heard of people telling their friends, "Hey, this is my best friend, Desmond" ?

I can easily count that with my 2 hands. I can often be a close friends to others, but when i said that this person is the best of the best friend. I seriously mean it. 

But do I actually expect that same person to treat me like how i treated him/her? 

Yes, i do expect that to happen. Given the conditions for me to treat that person like this, I would expect that that person have all kinds of reasons and conditions to treat me likewise.

I do understand that some of you may disagree to what I'm saying, but in the real world. We do expect people to treat us like how we treated them, don't we?

But the higher the expectations, the painful it is.